DM’s Guild – A Planar Grimoire

Planar Grimoire Cover Image

Pardon the somewhat inconsistency in my posts.  I’ve been trying to revise old work while work on some personal projects I hoped to get out on the web (like this one), while balancing a stressful work life and home life.  But I digress, I was never too happy with my original planar spells posts.  Some were blatant rip-offs of previously existing D&D spells, while others were just poorly worded.  So, I did a fair bit of clean up while making some other not-so-subtle homages!  But, no matter, here’s over 15 pages of extraplanar goodness for your 5E Spellcasters!  Enjoy.

A Planar Grimoire is Pay-What-You-Want, you may find it here.

June Blog Carnival – Bizarre Bazaar – Magitech!

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Why hello-li-lo-li-lo!  The name is Jermaine!  Funny name for a guy like me, I know, but I’m the one and only!  I know what you’re about to say… What am I?  Don’t worry, I am not offended, not in the very least!  I love to talk about myself!  I am of the Arcane and I am here to serve you.  These robes I wear, they are ceremonial, for the high holy act of commerce and trade; a sacred practice among my people.  My people have scoured wild space, the planes, the multiverse, you name it; we have visited it!  Many like me collect all sorts of oddities for my “bizarre bazaar”.

Unlike that barmy star berk, I assure you that my wares are much safer… and much fairer of a price.  My associates procure a wide variety of simply marvelous items from all over all known realities, the price you pay matches the story and the piece!  Now, what is my specialty?  Why, I collect and craft technological crafts empowered by The Art…  That’s “magic” for the clueless out there.  I’ve rambled far too long…  So my lovely observers, do you see anything you like?  Hmmm?  …  Oh, and one more thing!  No refunds, a merchant has to make a handful of jink somehow.  Ya hear me, baby?

Author’s Note: I’m back with another contribution to the RPG Blog Carnival!  This month’s theme is gonzo cross-genre gaming, hosted by Cross-Planes!  Find out more HERE.  Also, stay tuned for my theme post next month!

If there is one thing I love, it’s magitech!  Sure, most of my planar items count as this already, but I wanted to try something new.  In fact, I made a new shopkeeper narrator for the occasion as well!  (Don’t worry, Zam’dul isn’t going anywhere, Jermaine promises this!)  Here’s a sampling of technomagical devices for your games!  And yes, Scaramouche from the Samurai Jack miniseries inspired Jermaine the Arcane.  I also went a little crazy on these, so they might be a tad unstable.

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More DOOM Monsters!

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Incoming transmission! “There’s even more of them captain!  We thought we were finished, but they’ve only just unleashed even more of the damned things upon us!  Many of these wretched hell things feel even stronger than the last ones we fought!  We can’t hold out for mu-” Transmission ended!

Author’s Note:  Sorry for being late on this one.  I found out last minute that my group wanted to postpone my game, so I would have had a game synopsis last week.  I also got very sick following a busy work week.  With that, here’s a handful of more DOOM monsters.  I might do an update later on with another popular monster in mind… Arachnotron… Mancubus… Something like that!

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Strange Things in Bloodied Wyvern Peaks Adventure Report: Part 1

The Orvaldt Sanctuary Sanitarium

Greetings and well met!  Welcome to the realm of Qvosfeir, a land of frigid tundra and hardy folk.  Under normal circumstances, the Kingdom of Orvaldt would be a thriving hub of trade and travel, overseen by King Orvaldt; proud head of the clan as well as ruler.  A thriving internal economy of mining helped to establish the kingdom’s presence far before modernizing into the city of today.  Forged by an ancestor of Orvaldt, as well as House Emberbeard, the small mining town grew until it had earned its place as a proud and powerful land.  The nearby land proved lush and fertile, as the rocky crags and fields gave way to refreshing springs and favorable hunting grounds.

That was, until the “strange things” began to occur.  A general term, the strange things marked a series of events over the course of a year; people vanished, the soil turned bad and crops withered, plague began to emerge from no where, strange poisons leaked into the water, reports of horrible monsters overwhelmed locals and travelers alike… especially the miners.  The far most odd were two incidents witnessed by residents.  The first being tendril-covered ball creatures attacked a nearby homestead, dissolving what prey they could find and absorbing it into their mass.  Upon being slain, attempts to study them only brought confusion as they had no discernible anatomy from quick glance and they melted and vaporized not long after death.  The other incident was an airship jumping out of a planar portal over the mountain, before a pillar of incredible light shot up from one of the peaks and destroyed the vessel, as it crashed somewhere in the mountains below.

Attempts to discover the cause or end it outright have been failures, with the remainder of each exploration group returning insane or deathly sick.  Those who didn’t die were sent to a converted sector of the Physician’s Ward of the city that was converted into an asylum.  Meanwhile, much of the populace has been evacuated with the help of much of the kingdom’s army, as bandits and other opportunistic folk have seized the chance at picking at the desperate kingdom.  Attempts to gather heroes from the inside and outside have been mostly fruitless.  Those who survived the raiders and bandits have managed to push into the city, in hopes of an audience with the king.

Hello again!  For a slight change of pace, I wanted to chronicle my expanded take on the D&D adventure I wrote a little ways back.  Don’t worry, more homebrew is on the horizon.  In fact, I have a prospective DM’s Guild project that’s almost done as well.  While I’ve had fun running modules over the years, even running organized play events, I wanted to jump back into creating my own campaigns.  I hope you enjoy reading this as I did running the campaign!  In addition, I hope to have some uploaded audio logs of the campaign as well, for your entertainment.  I’ll probably post an announcement on that, but in the meantime, the FlumphCast YouTube channel is where the videos will be found.

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Minotaur- A Tough Bovine-like Race for D&D 5th Edition

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“Call me ‘beef’ one more time, I find human to be delicious!”


Born into Darkness, Creations of a Mad Man


Legends of their peoples’ origins have long since been an enigma.  Some say they were born in service to the glory of the puzzling maze, perhaps they are scions of the Demon Lord Baphomet, to some they are harbingers of the end days.  Much like the Minotaur themselves, these legends and stories have traveled across boundless planes.  In reality, the archfey lord of Nightmares brought such creatures to life in boundless mazes of his design.  Unlike the myths, these labyrinths weren’t made to protect something or to hide his work, but as a means of psychological torment and dastardly experimentation.  Few know the truth, but they have likely been driven to insanity by their petty pseudo-god.  Like all beast folk of Arcadia, their kind was not initially born but remade.  Several creatures ensnared under the Nightmare Lords grasp were warped into their current form, in an attempt to create relentless servants of chaos.  To this archfey, an army of unstable beastly horrors is exactly what was needed to turn the tides in war.


Fierce in Strength and in Spirit


While the Nightmare Lord’s brainwashed army of bovine-headed horrors began to ravish the material plane, not all were controlled to commit horrible acts.  Those who broke free from this control fled to dark corridors and sprawling tunnels.  Ironically, such hiding places were much like the horrible conditions they were tortured in for so long.  Even so, their familiarity with dungeons and mazes lead to them building complex mountain-side societies.  Rather than build over the land, they built into it; eventually developing all sorts of defensive methods against intruders and invaders alike.  In the years following, they had met conflict with the subterranean mound fey, human settlements and extraplanar entities.  This never deterred their survival instincts and knack for defensive innovation.  Eventually, some of their own became among the first to ascend.  A described high queen of healing and life was among those most powerful.  Those devoted to her cause can craft salves of magical healing through prayer and meditation.

Beyond worship of ascended minotaur powers, their societies have emerged to be an industrious and militant society built on protection and honor.  Some are driven by a passion to fight for what they believe in, while others are driven by keeping their kin safe at all costs.  These beliefs have lead to them being a prominent developer of arms and armory, making them a desirable trade ally.  However, their self-imposed sanctions make it harder for contraband dealers and illegal traders to gain powerful supplies.

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FREAKS! – Aberrant Beasts, Mutants and other Abominations

When magic is involved to experiment with life, the results can be horrifying and sickening.  So-called Freaks are born from careless tinkering with supernatural forces.  These “freaks” are often driven to madness and hostility by either their inability to grasp the world around them or reacting to a harsh and judgemental society.  Those who lack sentience tend to go mad from their tormented existence. Most of the time, their creators have little care for their warped creations.  Those who do seem them as the perfect meat shield, whilst they continue their depraved and disturbed experiments.

While many are the result of mad scientist, evil alchemists and deranged wizards; some are victims of corrupting powers and incomprehensible forces.  These powers greatly vary.  Forces like abyssal underworld hexes, maddening voids of realms beyond, places of raw and untamed energies.  Creatures born from such mysterious planes and domains are often thralls to their mad overlords.  Those who break free often became chaotic and destructive forces prone to rampage, much like material plane  “freaks”.  These planar-blighted beings were often enslaved as living machines of destruction.  They serve as pawns in warfare, conquest or acts of terror.

Author’s Note:  Many of these are original with the help of some of my friends (Thanks Bobby, Centaurpede will give me nightmares!)  Also, the creepy horse mask inspired some of the flavor text…  In the case of some of the others, they are homages.  The Cosmicoid is both a nod towards Alien and the equally inspired Wanamingo from Fallout 2.  The Hulking Mutant is a more clear reference towards the Super Mutants from Fallout.  Meanwhile the Atomic Beast was my translation of Keith Thompson’s Pripyat Beast and Psi-Zombie is Zombified Stalker from S.T.A.L.K.E.R. meets the Witch from Left 4 Dead.  Also, Atomic Beast and Centaurpede are conceptually very similar…  Granted, one’s alive while another is a From Software staple.

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Expedition to Barrier Peaks – D&D 5th Edition Conversion (PART 3) – Mutants and Monstrosities

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“Two of our party members died, but check out this shiny ray gun!”

“It looked like some sort of badger-like animal, until I noticed the eight legs!  Each of them had barb-like claws attached.  As the creature faced us, its jaws dettached and let out the most horrid of shrieks.  It pounced upon and tore apart the bardic minstrel in moments before we managed to put it down.  What other twisted beasts dwell here?”

-A survivor’s brief encounter with the Aurumvorax

Beyond machines and flora, countless species of fauna populate the strange wreckage.  Whether they’re organic forms from realms unknown or mutated experiments gone horribly wrong, their alien nature and ferocious abilities make them formidable foes to fight off.

Author’s Note: Beyond some easy to convert monsters using the monster manual, here’s a helping of monsters and beasts that roam the downed ship.  Some of these were pretty easy to tackle, considering many of them had been ported over to other systems (beyond the Next playtest) such as Pathfinder.  Stay tuned for my take on pre existing monsters as well as adding new monsters to the ship!

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