Weird Western Monsters – Part 4 (The Brood, The Damned and the Undead)

Pale Bill by SpineBender
“Howdy, friend.  You also crawl out of Hell?”

“Lemme tell you ’bout this really freaky gent, just lingered outside of town for a bit.  He got this big ol’ rictus grin, like someone who died clenching their teeth.  He asked me about my evening.  ‘Course, it was lovely.  One of the men of the inn helped me relax real well upstairs a bit, hehehe.  Anyway, the mad smilin’ man vanished after I told him off.  Damn ghosts.  I need some rest, so I don’t cleave off someone’s face…” – Booker L. Wyatt, Human Barber, owner of Wispy Cliffs Barbershop

Dark spirits gather in these parts.  Maybe they love the sorrow and struggle that comes with developing frontiers; the lawlessness, the adverse environment, the lonesome people.  All sorts of negative traits and qualities seem to lure all sorts of vicious monsters to prey on the miserable locals.  Many of the monsters themselves were once the very same miserable locals, in some cases brought back from the grave to terrorize anyone who dares to live life well.  Some are just manifestations of pure evil, formed upon this world to destroy.

Author’s Note: You can’t have most weird west tales without a degree of horror.  So, let’s dive into some particularly nasty creatures.  Some of them are homages and conversions of beloved and infamous monsters from various games; such as Darkwatch: Curse of the West and Deadlands: The Weird West.  You could say, I like both… a lot.  Also, good lord, are the Hangin’ Judges SOOOOOO 1990’s!  I love them, but they are a trope of their era.

Continue reading “Weird Western Monsters – Part 4 (The Brood, The Damned and the Undead)”

Weird Western Monsters – Part 3 (Steam Machines and Clockwork Fiends)

Image result for "Westworld"1973 robot
NEXT STOP, WESTWORLD, ALL A-beep-boop-beep!

I’ve seen plenty of things in my day, but none of them involved these divines darned machines taking over the place.  I work for a living and some oiled up rust bucket won’t replace me!  I’m a representation of the great folk who live here, at least out in Cascading Ridge, a real oasis if I do say!  Now the place is probably gonna smell of bad oil.  I’m gonna file a grievance to the mayor about this.  I won’t be replaced!
– Gristle Pete, deceased cook for the Cascading Ridge Saloon and former miner.

“Shame about ol’ Pete.  But, rumor has it that there’s an order hunting down folks who steal a fine explosive powder filled with magic.  I heard Pete’s been hoarding it like something fierce.  Plus, no machine can shoot with that level of precision, that bullet hole between the eyes?  That’s masterwork!  Hmm, certainly the act of an elite gunslinger, the wound is still somewhat fresh.  I’d say maybe a couple of days old.”
– Jeanette P. Hoffman, Human Smokepowder Shootist, “Wandering Medical Examiner”.

The machines, they seem to be popping up everywhere.  As long as there’s some hack scientist with some kinda idea, something automated will appear soon after.  Gristle Pete, the saloon’s mad cook got strung up by something a couple of weeks ago after babbling about “automatons replacing him”.  Poor ol’ loon.  Plus, the owner of the bar seems a bit toooo friendly with his top of the line automaton staff, it’s downright disgusting.  Plus, you got the mechanical miners too.  Ol’ Pete used to be a miner once, ya know?  No wonder he’s paranoid.  Keep your distance from one of those wandering tin cans, if ya know what’s good.

Author’s Note: Machines, constructs, robots!  I always love crafting something like that.  Hell, I did an entire post dedicated to robots before.  Plus, what better way to celebrate the Fourth of July than with some crazy, volatile machines!

Continue reading “Weird Western Monsters – Part 3 (Steam Machines and Clockwork Fiends)”