Upon a distant plateau lies foul denizens of Leng.
While many horrors beyond our reaches have found their way into the material, other things creep into reality and bring chaos with them in more subtle ways. Some lurk just beyond the veil, while others find others to do their bidding. Whether they seek to destroy us or take over, eldritch powers are slowly becoming more pronounced. It is unlikely that we’ll ever be ready for them. – Finnemin Cobblertoe, Halfling Archivist
Author’s Note: I wanted to make another contribution to the December ’17 blog carnival. So, true to Doc tradition, here’s some more H.P. Lovecraft creations for 5E! You can find more cosmic horrors throughout my blog via relevant tags like ‘lovecraft‘ and ‘cthulhu mythos‘. Read more about the RPG Blog Carnival Blog here.
“Are you still here? It is good to be a dedicated shopper, but closing hours draw near. A busy body must always prepare for the next day’s wave of customers and curators. But, Zam’Dul is patient! You shall be helped in finding what you seek. Rest assured, the store likely has it. Now, do follow and be shown many fine wares! But, please do so quickly… Pushing customers after closing is such a bother.”
Welcome back to another revisiting of the bizarre bazaar! As always, Zam’Dul awaits customers with a fine assortment of majestic and obscure magical treasures. Sure, he’s looking to close down for the night, but mark my words, he has plenty of oddities to showcase as always! Sure, some seem familiar, but others are new sights to behold.
Author’s Note: It’s kinda ironic and hypocritical of me. I’m not too content with reprints of spells and whatnot in the currently-new Xanathar’s Guide to Everything. And yet, here I am, posting updates of older items I made in the past. Not really a statement, just an observation. Anyway, I hope these updates address some mistakes I made in the past, while highlighting which items I really liked a lot!
Also, I hit 250 posts! Hooray!
A familiar face comes into view as patrons briefly part into a narrow opening, it’s a cloaked humanoid with a strange helmet! The creature gets up from a meditative stance, acknowledging your presence. His relaxed and idle stance changes into a beckoning yet inviting gesture.
“Ah, Zam’Dul has not forgotten you, traveler! Many of my old wares are gone… The rest? Well, a bored mind tries to see what can be done with spare parts. You’ll see some older oddities as well as some new creations. Please, relax and observe what the shop has to offer! Never be afraid to ask questions, Zam’Dul knows all!”
He lifts a curtain beyond his little stand to reveal a massive archive of the wonderful and weird, seemingly infinite space is filled with encased treasures and incredible artifacts. The helmed monk shuffles to a counter, seemingly observing you wherever you go.
Author’s Note: These were always fun to do! Also, I’ve been messing around with some of my magic items. Some needed a fair bit of overhaul, while others weren’t developed enough. Plus, I have a few ideas I’ve been kicking around in general. So, let’s get shopping! (Or something!) Keep an eye out for the Tomb of Annihilation nods, for any gamers eager to run the major adventure book for Fall 2017. Also, this post was made in support of the November 2017 RPG Carnival with the theme “The Past, Revisited“. Check out the post and its contributors!
Why hello-li-lo-li-lo! The name is Jermaine! Funny name for a guy like me, I know, but I’m the one and only! I know what you’re about to say… What am I? Don’t worry, I am not offended, not in the very least! I love to talk about myself! I am of the Arcane and I am here to serve you. These robes I wear, they are ceremonial, for the high holy act of commerce and trade; a sacred practice among my people. My people have scoured wild space, the planes, the multiverse, you name it; we have visited it! Many like me collect all sorts of oddities for my “bizarre bazaar”.
Unlike that barmy star berk, I assure you that my wares are much safer… and much fairer of a price. My associates procure a wide variety of simply marvelous items from all over all known realities, the price you pay matches the story and the piece! Now, what is my specialty? Why, I collect and craft technological crafts empowered by The Art… That’s “magic” for the clueless out there. I’ve rambled far too long… So my lovely observers, do you see anything you like? Hmmm? … Oh, and one more thing! No refunds, a merchant has to make a handful of jink somehow. Ya hear me, baby?
Author’s Note: I’m back with another contribution to the RPG Blog Carnival! This month’s theme is gonzo cross-genre gaming, hosted by Cross-Planes! Find out more HERE. Also, stay tuned for my theme post next month!
If there is one thing I love, it’s magitech! Sure, most of my planar items count as this already, but I wanted to try something new. In fact, I made a new shopkeeper narrator for the occasion as well! (Don’t worry, Zam’dul isn’t going anywhere, Jermaine promises this!) Here’s a sampling of technomagical devices for your games! And yes, Scaramouche from the Samurai Jack miniseries inspired Jermaine the Arcane. I also went a little crazy on these, so they might be a tad unstable.
Welcome back, weary traveler! Please, as always, you are more than welcome to observe my inventory. Should anything be particularly fascinating to you, signal me and I’d be happy to tell you more! Of course, some of these artifacts are VERY dangerous and should be handled with care. Fortunately for you, the GREAT Zam’dul is happy to provide assistance!
Author’s Note: Making magic items from around the planes remains to be one of the most fun topics for me to tackle. As such, I really wanted to return to it so soon. With that, enjoy another sampling of weirdness from many a reality.
“Haven’t had enough of the ol’ hunchback shopkeeper’s wares, huh? Well, there’s more where that came from!”
Here is a small helping of even more magical items for Halloween. Enjoy.
Author’s Note: I wanted to make a few more magical items in addition to what I made before. Also, more JoJo references? I figured why not, since Part 1 is airing on U.S. television. I had to hold myself from making anything Vento Aureo, Stone Ocean, Steel Ball Run or Jojolion because not enough people read the manga… and they should. Also, be on the look out for how many Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem references I can squeeze into one item.
You see an eerily familiar sight; a sinister cottage building with a poorly written”antiques and oddities” sight nearby. As you draw nearer, a dreadful sense of deja vu pours over you. You’ve been here before. Upon entering the door, all comes back to you as you see a hunched over sales person, obscured by a cloak. The humanoid creature cracks a smile from underneath the cloth, as if it recognizes you.
Welcome to Rare and Magnificent Antiques and Wares! I haven’t seen you in quite some time. Hopefully you learned from last time you foolishly made a purchase without heeding warnings. Or perhaps you’re a new customer, no… you’ve been here, I sense it! Unlike other curio shops and antique specialists, I focus on the morbid and bizarre; artifacts found no where else in the world! But remember this, all sales are final. If you fear obtaining something, let me enlighten you on all there is to know. Granted, you already knew the rules, didn’t you?
Sadly, we’ve sold the wears that you’ve seen last time. But fear not, thanks to various benefactors as well as generous adventurers, I have replenished my stock with a satisfying assortment of new items to examine. Also, do be careful when handling the items. You don’t want to activate or awaken something by accident, do you? Of course not! And so, simply point to something and I’ll be right over to get it for you.
Author’s Note: The Hunched Over Salesman is back with all sorts of creepy magic items to dive into! I wanted to do a followup to my Gothic items from back in April, so here we go!