We’re back! Once again, the weirdness lifts off the material realm… or so it seems. We lose one of our dysfunctional heroes and gain another and more things seem off… if a tad off track entirely!
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Yes, Utopian-Orvaldt is a slight spoof on Blue Rose, with the fashion and style of Hirohiko Araki to boot, even though players didn’t have a chance to explore the utopia too much. No, I don’t have a chip on my shoulder towards Green Ronin, even though I don’t particularly like Blue Rose. The idea was based on old notes I had sitting around for the sake of a light-hearted plane hopping game. I might do something more with that soon enough. Also, I’m sorry for killing off your character super quickly, Evan! Really, I am!
As our troop rests in the middle of an open roadway, which has been abandoned at least, shadowy things lurk in the distance. Meanwhile, people similar to the cult from before remain on the defensive as they make their last stand outside of the hut. One of the cultists is familiar, the high priestess that was met in another universe! She’s brutally massacred against the hut as the body is slumped right against it. Meanwhile, Sweetgrass covets a totally cool new mask from the body! As the battle dies down and the shadowy figures study the hut, strange crows flock around the area as well. And not a moment later, BIRD drops in from a portal. Having lost his dagger before, he swoops over and snatches a similar one off the high priestess. Unable to get inside the hut, he charges the swarm of crows… who have pulsating brains on their head and glowing eyes… who then conjure up bolts of lightning! Bird fairs poorly, being electrocuted to death. Slightly horrified, the team continues to remain in the hut… well aware that they could have brought their ally back.
Nearly 15 minutes go by as the shadowy people put up a barrier wall by the hut while studying it. They eventually get bored and turn away, gathering their crows as well. Not a moment longer, the team tries to get the jump on them! Well, mostly Jeveng and Delvin. A few hacks and slashes and pot shots are launched against the shadowy menace… as their disguise goes down… they’re actually Mind Flayers! The rest of the team jumps out to aid/fight, but not before one of them dominates Jeveng and sends him into a rage. Sweetgrass sends some of the birds flying away with nature magic after realizing they’re immune to charm effects as Ha’Shar learns they can’t be taunted so easily. Jeveng then proceeds in slamming Ha’shar, hurting him quite badly! Ha’shar darts out of there as Sweetgrass bops Jeveng just enough to snap him back into consciousness. The Flayers then set up a barrier wall as them and their crows donk on Delvin, who has split away from the team after the “Cranium Crows” unleashes an entropic tentacle to whip him away!
The team does whatever they can to break free of the illithid horrors. Delvin gets separated as he weaves his way through the familiar mountain terrain. Meanwhile, everyone else runs towards the direction of town… space begins to distort as everything seems faster… time follows suit! Delvin, having found a good hiding place, uses his talents to imbue a message within a squirrel. The squirrel then dashes at breakneck speed (that’s just as strange as the rest of the team). Ha’shar fails to catch up to Jeveng (and Sweetgrass, who is held by Jeveng). However, the squirrel catches up somehow, but not before Jeveng dashes right off of a cliff. The squirrel, distracted and scared by banter, falls off and splatters below. Feeling impatient and worried, Delvin finds a series of secret paths and safe spots to make his back towards his allies.
Meanwhile, Jeveng and Sweetgrass brace for impact thanks to featherfall. Ha’shar eventually makes his way to a cliff and climbs down. At the bottom, he encounters an oddly dressed local who then proceeds to speak equally strange. It is then that all three of them realize this isn’t the right town. The architecture is rounded, warped and very purple! In addition, everyone has a disgusting fashion sense; the cloths are equally purple (for the most part) with obtuse angles every which way, as well as comically oversized accessories and other means of strange vanity. Delvin eventually catches up to the cliff as Ha’shar goes invisible and surveys commotion in town. Why, it’s Jeveng and Sweetgrass! They landed in the middle of the town fountain, making quite the display on the way down. The two waterlogged heroes slosh out of the pool, trying to brush it off and disperse the crowd, though the guards do a better job of that. Jeveng acts abrasive to get the guards to leave. They suspect him of something, but go on their way. Meanwhile, Delvin uses a shortcut to make his way to his house. The nightmarish violet maze disorients him, as his house looks equally horrifying.
Everything is purple, poofy and very flamboyant. Color begins to drain from his face, as one of his attendants asks him why he’s not in his “usual cloths”. As he’s dressed in a hideous (and somewhat choking) outfit, he then finds out that the actual owner of the house vanished in thin air, as he kept a guest waiting. It dawns on him, this is an alternate universe. A tacky butler with an oversized bowtie greets the rest of the team (save for Ha’shar, who is still invisible). Jeveng has had enough of this mad place, hoping to seek the mage’s guild. Sweetgrass and Ha’shar are willing to find Delvin’s place in this weird and garish dimension. Back at the house, Delvin begins to drink whatever stash he can find, as this place is quickly getting to him. He gets a telegram from a man with a slide-whistle hat, alerting him that the king requests heroes, while pink gnomes fix a mess in the floor with a ring of the bell. The illogic and tackiness of this world makes him babble madly as he runs into his guest, a Lizard Wizard. Delvin frantically babbles with him as he tries to assure him that he’s one of the few sane people around. Sweetgrass and Ha’shar sneak in and join the hubbub. Also, sweetgrass enjoys the “very nice” people and comfortable pillows, even though everyone finds the niceness to be hollow and the underlying society to be uncanny. Everyone agrees to make their way to the mage’s guild. Meanwhile, Jeveng pounds on the guildhall door and harasses the doorman.
After the doorman is grabbed and pulled out of his station, the doorway opens to reveal a tie-die psychedelic hell. Mages indulge in all sorts of the magical absurd, dimensions and space are distorted to make even less sense! Jeveng briefly lapses into mania before snapping out of it. Meanwhile, the doorman scampers off as the crew catches up. They ask around for anyone knowledgeable on planar mortals. They’re all told to seek out the “seer”. The familiar name haunts everyone, the floating mad humanoid from the asylum. Dreading what they would be like in this universe, they pace further into the guild… only to encounter a normal looking guy in krishna monk like garb. He addresses himself as a “See-r of Worlds!”, but not a seer. Confused, the roll with it. He then ushers them away from everyone else, informing them that he’s aware that they don’t belong. He then warns that they have to leave, as those who don’t belong in the utopia are either “removed” or “given new life”. As he leads them towards a laboratory, the front doors of the guild swing open with the doorman and two guards.