Internet Trash Spells

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Memes.  They’re garbage.  But, we love them… for some reason.  Sometimes such ideas spread so fast, as per the theory that named them, that they reach other planes.  Such planar scholars witness these cross-dimensional ideas and sculpt them into something else entirely.  And thus, new spells are created from what started as a simple idea!  These mad sages have provided four of their latest creations.

Author’s Note:  Sure, I’ve done stuff like this in the past…  But, why did I do this?  Also, these spells are likely unbalanced, as they were made as spur of the moment jokes.

  • Bag’s Shooting Star
    7th level Conjuration
    Casting Time: 1 Action
    Range: 100 feet
    Concentrate, up to 1 minute
    Channeling the magical portal forces of Bag, you rip a small tear in reality and shove an enemy into it.  When this spell is cast upon a target, they must make a Dexterity saving throw.  Upon failure, they take 55 (10d10) force damage and are temporarily ripped from the fabric of reality.  For the duration of the spell, they are floating in a void while reeling form the damage they took.  Upon the spell’s end, they return to where they were ripped from.  If they succeed their save, they merely take half damage and the spell ends.
  • Kingu Pingu’s Haunting Shout
    2nd Level Enchantment
    Casting Time: 1 Action
    Range: 30 feet cone
    Instantaneous
    You visualize the image of a penguin playing the trumpet, conveying the atrocious noise it conveys, stunning your enemies.  All creatures within the range must make a Constitution saving throw.  Upon failure, they are deafened and cannot take reactions until the end of your next turn.  In addition, they take 18 (4d8) thunder damage.  Until the spell ends, all they can hear is “Noot Noot”.  Upon succeeding, they instead take half damage and suffer no additional effects.
  • Ricarley’s Limerick of the Rolling Troll
    5th level Enchantment
    Casting Time: 1 Action
    Range: 60 feet
    Concentration, up to 10 minutes
    You weave musical magic into your words, so that way your target will never want to give you or let you down.  The target must make a Wisdom saving throw against your spell.  Upon failure, they are dominated and charmed under your control, as they know the rules and so do you.  While under your spell, the target follows you under your charm, endlessly babbling any sort of syllable involving “-ol” in it.  However, this poses as a distraction and will cause you to suffer disadvantage on all Stealth rolls.  Should you do anything antagonistic to the charmed target, they gain a new saving throw.  Upon success, they will run around and desert you.
  • Tay’s Rain of Painful Sweetness
    1st level Evocation
    Casting Time: 1 Action
    Range: 30 foot burst within 120 feet
    Concentration, up to 1 minute.
    You conjure a brief rain of a sugary substance.  All those caught within the cloud must make a Constitution saving throw.  Upon failure, they take 7 (2d6) cold damage.  Upon success, they take half.  In addition, until the area is cleaned (1 minute per 5 foot square), the area counts as difficult terrain.
    For every spell slot higher than level 1 that this spell is cast at, increase the damage dealt by  7 (2d6).
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