The hustle and bustle of the market gives way to something you’ve seen before. Ahead lies a familiar tent and sitting underneath is a figure wearing spacefaring gear over robes. Their head tilts in your direction, acknowledging your presence and expecting reaction. Upon getting closer, the creature straightens its back as it lifts from the ground with seemingly little effort. Facing you, they extend a cloth covered arm in greeting, it is Zam’dul the Plane Traveler. The thick breathing from a chamber in his mask lightens up as you can hear sounds like a throat being cleared.
“Hail, friend! It has been a while, has it not? Please, do not shy away. Since your last visit, I have procured many new items from the distant cosmos and beyond. I open my collection for you, if you can handle a potentially steep price.”
The dusty, wrinkled merchant shuffles over as an arm extends to highlight various wares. Much like before, you bare witness to a wide variety of truly odd looking crafts and artifacts. Some resemble items you’ve seen in your travels, others are far too alien for you to fully comprehend. Zam’dul surveys the crowd while ringing a strangely shaped bell, hoping to garner interest.
Author’s Note: We’re slowly closing out our planar theme for the time being. However, I figured it would be fun to return to another installment of Bizarre Bazaars! This time, I’m going back to my roots and doing another planar theme, including the truly bizarre and perhaps even horrifying aspects of the planes. But, if you wanted normal items, you wouldn’t have come here. As a bonus, I’ve converted over some items from Planescape Torment. No matter, take it away, Zam’dul.
Adder Tear (Uncommon), single use
“Curious charm, is it not? This is the Adder’s Tear. Such things are common among more fiendish members of this traveling market… One would best be careful not to trifle with them too much. Zam’dul knows this well! As for the charm, one can activate its power by placing it upon the tongue. As it dissolves, the user can spit a horrid venom by spitting it at the opponent. That’s really all there is to it. Take heed though, it can’t be used more than once.”
The charm in your hand looks like a green teardrop, true to the item’s namesake. It almost has an oily consistency around it, with a strange residue left behind when rubbed upon.
As an action, the user may place this charm on their mouth. When it dissolves, they cast Adder’s Kiss as per the spell.
Bone Charm (Uncommon), single use
“This piece of bone looks like nothing, you might think. That is incorrect! It is inscribed with runic signatures, so the magic activates when the charm is snapped! You’ll feel more able to handle whatever punches are thrown at you. It’s like a bone armor has reinforced you for a short period of time!”
A finger bone lies on a small perch. It has been hollowed out with extreme precision, with tiny runes engraved all along it. A small tag asks you to snap the bone.
As an action, a character may snap the charm to gain the following benefits: +2 AC and Damage Resistance for bludgeoning/piercing/slashing weapons for 1 minute.
Divine Censer (Rare), single use
“Fascinating incense container, is it not? While its power is limited compared to other artifacts of divine nature, this trinket has enough power to bring back a deceased ally once and only once. The markings and phrases imply some kind of Godsmen origin. For non-planar, their belief is betterment for ascension. Pure poppycock. If that was true, I would ascend. Imagine me ascended! I could choose to flood entire towns with wine, if I wanted.”
An angular container holds a sort of powder that resonates with a faint glow. Inscribed are quasi-religious symbols and motivational phrases, in part to inspire the revived to continue onward. A central metal piece holds most of the incense, waiting to be utilized.
As an action, a character may light the incense to activate the effect. This otherwise works like the Raise Dead spell. This effect only works once.
Infinite Recall Charm (Uncommon), single use
“The product of studious mages on the go, you see. These charms are used to help a mage identify a strange artifact in a pinch. To be fair, if you had the means, why wouldn’t you prepare these for your party? From what I gather, it’s a condensed version of a planar library in drop form. I’ve used it once and the experience was overwhelming, in my opinion. Also, careful how you draw information. Too much effort could result in head explosion. It’s quite messy, you see.”
This simple blue colored charm in the shape of a droplet holds incredible powers of knowledge and understanding. While fleeting and brief, the user is capable of understanding artifacts they come across.
As an action, the user may press the charm against their forehead. The charm disappears and the user is given its power. They are capable of using the Identify spell for 1d4+1 rounds of time. After this has completed, they gain 1 level of exhaustion. The user cannot use another charm for at least 1 day afterwords.
Horns of Howling Madness (Legendary), Requires Attunement
“The sounds of a Xaositect Holiday come from this instrument… Please, don’t use it. You’ll regret it. If you know anything about the Chaosmen, you’ll know what to expect… If you don’t, it’s an instrument used to spread their absurd brand of chaos wherever they go. Those who hear it tend to go completely mad. It’s quite horrifying to behold. It’s likely that such lunatics stole powerful magic from Pandemonium to forge it… if they could even get that far. Perhaps they lifted it off some bard in service to beings beyond space and time. Either way, it bodes grim tidings.”
A confounding instrument, truly forged from chaos. It is trumpet like, but has multiple tubes, chambers and pipes aligned in ways that make little sense. The geometries bend in non-euclidean and horrifying ways.
A creature that is attuned to the instrument can use their attack action with it. It unleashes a blast of confusing and maddening sounds unlike anything heard or meant to be heard. If affects all creatures within 120ft. of you, including yourself. After being blown, it lasts for 1 minute and counts as concentrated for the entire duration, without the user having to focus. In addition, the user takes a level of Short-Term Madness. If they have been afflicted by madness already within 24 hours, they gain Long-Term Madness. If this has happened already, they gain Indefinite Madness. This otherwise works like the Confusion spell, except that it affects large space. However, the deranged howls of Pandemonium cease after its initial use. It requires a week to recharge before being used again.
Icon of Final Death (Rare)
“The Philosophy of the Dustmen proclaims that existence is misery and a willing final acceptance of death is an acceptance of a greater truth, but only if they go past the barriers of emotions… or any sort of personal baggage. All of this talk of death and dying leaves me feeling a bit on the depressed and gloomy side, myself. Back to this item, the dustmen use it as a means of embracing that “final death.” Somehow, when activated, the user’s body shuts down and dies peacefully. Oddly enough, the victim looks completely tranquil, as if the item granted them bliss in their last moments. Such artifacts are considered very creepy in my book, very creepy indeed!”
This silver pendent is shaped like a humanoid skull, it emits a chilling power to the touch. When attuned to, it whispers strange mantras of the Dustmen of Sigil, encouraging the user to give up on the baggage of the material world and join it. When truly activated, the user feels their life force slip into the artifact. Otherwise, the user just feels its eerie power create no significant effect.
As an action, a member of the Dustmen or anyone with similar views can activate this item. As long as nothing tugs on the creature’s mind or distracts them, the artifact will kill them. A creature who uses this item cannot be resurrected outside of a Wish spell. This artifact has a darker power, symbolic of the Factol of the Dustmen. When taken from a dead user within 1 hour, a new user is granted 3d10 + 3 temporary hit points, which last until the user takes a short or long rest. However, the icon may only grant this benefit once per day after killing a willing host. Depending on the DM, using the secondary effect could shift a character towards an evil alignment.
Sight Jumping Gems (Rare), Requires Attunement
“The Society of Sensation is known for throwing themselves into the fray, if only to fully understand that experience. To state my opinion, I find them as the same as the drunkard stuck to their bottle or mad alchemist infusing themselves with their craft. This faction consists of those addicted to experience, no matter how deadly. One of their less deadly crafts are these eye-like gems. With them, they can easily divine areas around them, all while feeling all this place has to offer. That said, I have seem a Sensate explode after taking their gems into the Plane of Fire. I question how smart these people are… They seem almost as unhinged as the Chaosmen, who would be more interested in scaring people with floating eyeballs everywhere, I bet.”
At first glance, it looks like a glass eye attached to the rest of a white orb. It feels as though it were crafted from marble, despite having a gemstone like quality look to it. When attuned to, it glows and unleashes an unearthly light akin to the color from the “iris” of the gem. In order for its full effects to take place, the user must attune for at least 8 hours.
As an action, an attuned user may drift into a semi-corporeal state as their senses drift away from them. Their body becomes stationary, as well as resistant to all forms of damage. Their detached “Sensing Form” is invisible and their weapons now deal force damage instead. However, they are still affected by the environment as if they were a part of it. The Sensing Form has a flight speed of 40ft., but cannot exceed a height of 10ft. off the ground. They are also invisible and must be detected by others through disadvantaged checks or through the “See Invisibility” spell. Their sensing form otherwise has their stats. If their form is knocked unconscious or killed, all damage is immediately transferred back to the original body.
Smokepowder Powered Gun (Rare), Requires Characters proficient with Martial Ranged Weapons only
“The lawfulness of Mechanus is very strange, is it not? One can never truly understand the strange machinations of the Modrons, and this firebrand is just another example of such. However, the touches upon it imply this was the work of a crafter who went on a pilgrimage to Mechanus. Now, what happened to the wanderer? I wish I could tell you, someone else gave this to me. Also, be careful not to shoot at explosive powder with this. That could level an entire tower or the like.”
Already unusual in most worlds, the firebrand is a rare and powerful weapon. This one has various strange features added to it, in an effort to enhance its capabilities. It has a storage chamber to allow bullets ease of access for multiple shots. Stock has been modified to be more comfortable to hold. The barrel is crafted to maximize travel and hard hitting aim. Some sort of chamber below allows the expelled bullet to travel at speeds never seen by crafters.
This weapon functions as a modified version of the firearms found in the Dungeon Master’s Guide. For all intents and purposes, it counts as magical.
- Powered Pistol – 2d6 piercing damage; 3 lb.; Ammunition (range 80/200); Reload after 4 shots
- Powered Rifle – 2d8 piercing damage; 4 lb.; Ammunition (range 120/300); Reload after 6 shots
Lady of Pain Rag Doll (Common), Requires Attunement
“Crafted by a truly barmy addle-cove, such a creation is taboo… at least where it originated from. While this doll looks a little creepy, it is nothing compared to the likes of the Bladed Lady! If you don’t know of the Lady of Pain, it is best to keep it that way. In fact, it is best to avoid her ire. Using that within the City of Doors is one of the quickest ways to do such! I shudder to trust this with anyone, out of fear they’re a fool or a cruel prankster who would try to harm others.”
This is a simple looking doll, replicating the look of the Lady of Pain or at least a perceived look. It’s mostly featureless and not overly complex, but still shows a mastery of stitch work and design. Its drab color scheme and inexpensive looking material implies its original creator was not of wealthy status. However, some minor magic has kept the doll looking clean and well tended to.
This doll only serves to act as a beacon for the Lady and her army of Dabus. While they no actively look for it, the presence of whoever holds it is sensed. If it is used for any sort of worship or mockery, their presence is stronger. Unlike other items, attunement is a simple action. If the Lady of Pain catches up with someone using the doll for whatever reason, the victim is likely to be mazed or even flayed.
CURSE. When attuned, the devotion and madness of previous owners causes the current owner to unintentionally cling to the doll. Try as they may, they are unable to get rid of it. A Remove Curse spell will allow the attunement to be severed and for the doll to either be passed along or abandoned.
Aquatic Champion Armor (Very Rare)
“Ah, so the Mariner’s Armor isn’t interesting enough, you say? Let me tell you of a piece made by The Smiths of the Endless Ocean. Such a group consisted of aquatic beings native to the Elemental Plane of Water. More than seasoned planar travelers, they were merchants who wanted to give buyers the ability to one day make their way to their realm without trouble, all while granting the glorious boons of water as well. Their ilk caused much conflict within the plane, fearing more outsiders would attempt to invade and stake their claim within the realm. After futile fights, the order was abolished, but their many crafts still float around markets throughout the planes… including in mine.”
An ornate set of armor, it looks as though it was crafted from carapaces, shells and scales; reinforced by both magic and a water-forged steel-like alloy. Parts of it reflect a variety of vibrant earthy colors as well as the tones of coral and sea life when hit with light. Shells and coral have been melded into decorative additions to the armor, giving it detail and definition as well as a sense of regal strength.
This armor gains a +1 bonus to armor class while worn. In addition, you have a swim speed equal to your land speed. In addition, you may breath in water as well as air, as per the Amphibious ability. Furthermore, you are immune to forced movement caused by water or aquatic spells. You can pierce through rushing water without hindrance. However, if it proves strong enough, you could still take damage.
In addition, you may cast one of the following spells, using your spell casting stat, per day: Create or Destroy Water, Purify Food and Drink, Water Walk, Wall of Water and Watery Sphere. You do not require any material components for casting in this manner. Upon doing so, you must take a long rest before using these spells again. In addition, you may cast Shape Water At-Will.
Blade of Traveling Moonlight (Legendary Artifact), Sentient, Requires Attunement (Non-Chaotic Creatures)
“What a mighty, mighty blade! Merely getting close to it is enough to feel its intense power. It is a manifestation of some kind of holiness, much too dangerous for the inexperienced. Would you plan on vanquishing demons with it? I can tell your true intents. But, could you even handle such a sword to begin with? Something tells me you don’t want to find that out. It seems to have a habit of making enemies. Yes, I speak of the sword.”
As if a beacon in darkness, this sword shines light upon all it touches. The oversized blade itself glows an unearthly blue upon its steel finish. On its stylized hilt is an almost eye-like design, signifying that there is far more to the blade than is initially known… something seemingly… intelligent. In truth, this blade is far from good. What potential for thought it contains is rigid fantaticism; purge the unclean, destroy all it considers wicked, judge your enemy based on preconceived notions. Its justice is madness. Its light isn’t salvation from darkness, but blindness from searing beams and prying eyes on fleeting privacy.
It burns with the wrath of a devil, but with the divine inspiration of an angel. In truth, the blade was made as a gift from a lesser deity serving under a dark force known as “The Burning Hate”. This lesser being was vanquished long ago in their mad crusade against “the darkness.” The blade was lost soon after as so too was “The Burning Hate” itself. Though, many speculated it simply took on a new form. All that is known is that such a blade was made to counter one just as wretched, perhaps more so.
The Blade of Traveling Moonlight is a sentient, lawful evil sword. It functions as a +3 Long Sword. It has an Intelligence of 13, Wisdom of 17 and Charisma of 19. The sword has blindsight up to 120ft. away and dispels all magical darkness within 30ft. of it. The sword can write, speak and understand Common, Celestial and Infernal. It may also comprehend whatever languages are known by the user. It speaks in a stern and authoritative tone. Its voice is proud and intimidating.
Blinding Beam. As a reaction, the wielder can force the blade to unleash a horrible light, distracting to whoever is locked in combat against it. A creature that is attacking you within melee range gains disadvantage on their attacks for that round. If they are immune to being blinded, this has no effect.
In addition, you may cast Eldritch Blast at-will while attuned. However, this spell deals radiant damage instead of force and ignores any resistance or immunity to radiant that a monster might have.
By the Radiance of the Moon. As a bonus action, you may infuse the blade’s power into your own. While attuned to the blade, you may choose to either use its regular damage type of slashing damage or choose to make it radiant instead. In addition, once per short rest, you may turn a spell’s damage into either its current type and radiant or just radiant damage.
Warring against Shadow. As the sword begins to trust the wielder, it gifts them with the ability to ward off the creatures of the darkness. You may cast the following as Innate spells using your character’s chosen spellcasting stat: At-Will – Detect Evil and Good, Protection from Evil and Good (self only); 1/Long Rest Each – Dispel Magic, Nondetection, Banishment, Hold Monster, Forbiddance, Antimagic Field (does not affect the Blade, only lasts for 1 minute instead)
Purge All Against Me. Its final ability is truly harnessed when the user has become the blade’s thrall… or when the blade deems its subject worthy. Once per day, you may cast Power Word Kill on an outsider creature, ignoring any type of resistances it might have. If the slain target is an Outsider, Undead or related creature; it will also be removed from existence. By doing so, the blade rewards the user with a slight boon. The user receives Inspiration if they have not already gained it.
Random Properties. The Blade of Traveling Moonlight has the following randomly determined properties:
- 2 minor beneficial properties
- 1 major beneficial property
- 3 minor detrimental properties
- 2 major detrimental properties
CURSE. The Traveling Moonlight will do all it can to recruit the wielder into its insane crusade. Over the course of time, the wielder will have ideas implanted into their brain to punish a perceived guilty party through any means necessary, with methods becoming gradually more brutal and excessive. You slowly become a puppet of the blade’s agenda while attuned. If this connection is severed, you’ll desire its return. The sword will benefit the attuned user as long as it is charmed under it after a while. While attuned, the weapon forces the user to make a Wisdom saving throw (DC 20) while taking a long rest. Upon failure, the victim is reached out in their sleeping/meditating mind and compelled to heed a command. This otherwise works like a Geas. This effect supersedes any immunity to charm effects. This command is usually to purge whatever Outsider or mundane “Heretical” force they encounter.
Image Source: Alien Merchant – Fight On # 12; Adder’s Charm/Bone Charm/Divine Censer (Planescape Torment) – Black Isles Studios/Obsidian Entertainment; 17th Century Skull Pendent – Unknown; Functional Steampunk Rifle – macabre151; 12 Bell Trumpet – Adolphe Sax; Moonlight Sword – Bloodborne; Red Eyeball – Unknown; Lady of Pain ragdoll – Kristian Brevik; Merfolk Hero – Bri N Lee/Jon Brazer Enterprises
The Charms are created of Black Isle Studio/Obsidian Entertainment. Planescape, Spelljammer and related works are property of Wizards of the Coast/Hasbro/TSR Inc., Bloodborne is property of From Software. Made by Doctor Necrotic, for Doctor Necrotic Media.